West Ham United’s Patrice Evra has revealed how his opinion on football has changed since his move to the London Stadium in February.

The Frenchman joined the Hammers as a free agent after being let go by former club Marseille following an incident in which he assaulted a pitch intruding fan.

And life for the former Man United star Evra – who has developed himself a reputation as ‘football’s happiest man’ for his upbeat social media posts – has taken a turn for the worse since joining forces with David Moyes in East London.

In an exclusive interview with Hammers Headlines before the Southampton game, a tearful Evra said: “I used to LOVE this game.

“But suddenly you kick the wrong fan in the head and your life turns upside down.

“Quite how I ended up here I don’t know. To be honest with you, I didn’t have many options after what happened. Fergie would have taken me back at United, he loves a karate kicking Frenchman.

“I’m used to playing alongside the world’s best. But now, I look one way and I see Aaron Cresswell and the other and I see Andy Carroll. It’s like a nightmare.”

Evra has made only two appearances for his new side since the switch from France, both coming in 4-1 defeats to Liverpool and Swansea.

The Frenchman remains hopeful however that more opportunities will come his way.

“Yes, I’d like to play more,” he continued, “only at the London Stadium though.

“See what happened against Burnley? If I were Mark Noble I would having been round-housing myself a one way ticket out of here.”

Please note: this is, quite obviously, satire. Have a laugh and a great April Fool’s Day!